I 'was' employed by the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council until I came to this miserable little planet.
My career was going well, demolishing asteroids, moons, planets and other insignificant space garbage to make way for this new Hyperspatial Bypass, until I came to this system. All I had to do was demolish a planet called 'Earth', how was I supposed to know it had been commissioned by the Mice to find the ultimate question of Life, the Universe and everything. its just a job to me.
Well the Mice complained to the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council, I lost my job and they banished me to obscurity on this arm-pit of a planet.
I tried to earn a living by writing beautiful Vogon poetry but got rejected by almost everyone I read it to. I have learned that 'Club Bouncer' could be a good career path for an Earth-bound Vogon - any offers ?
So here I am, stuck here on this silly little 'planet', testing this web site - yup it works, can I go home now ??